Why setting emotional boundaries is so important? Because it teaches people how to treat you and protect your individual unique feelings, ideas, perspectives, and wishes. It also means the ability to recognize your own uniqueness, respect your own feelings, and values, and communicate these differences to others.
Learning to honestly say NO or YES is liberating. Let’s remember that “NO or YES” are complete sentences. If you truly don’t want to do something just say “No”. I know the other party will be waiting for an excuse, but you don’t have to give any. For example, someone invites you to a party you really don’t want to attend. Just say no. Don’t say, Oh I have other arrangements. That would be a lie. The Word of God is clear on this,
Matthew 5”37
Be assertive – Be kind – Be firm
Being assertive shows that you respect yourself because you are willing to stand up for your interests and express your thoughts and feelings. It also demonstrates that you are aware of others’ rights and feelings. You are willing to work on respecting differences and resolving conflicts. It promotes a healthy way of communicating.
Benefits of setting boundaries:
- Increases self-esteem
- Conserves emotional energy
- Reduces stress
- Creates independence and freedom
- Demonstrates that you deserve to be treated well
- Protects you from draining and toxic people
- Ensures supportive and respectful relationships
- Helps you avoid those without your best interest at heart
FOUR EMOTIONAL BOUNDARY TYPES
This is your personal space, your bubble. It includes WHO you allow to touch you, be in close proximity to you, be in your personal spaces (bedroom, office, etc.)
This is allowing yourself to separate your feelings from those of others and not taking on other burdens. Not having to be defined by your job, social status, family, etc.
This is your internal climate of safety. Includes your thoughts, feelings, emotions, values, opinions and beliefs. These are sacred to YOU and you are allowed to have them.
This is giving yourself permission to define your own relationship with God. Not letting others control your calling or talents in life.
Let me ask you a few questions and answer them honestly:
- How do you feel about your own identity?
- Do you demonstrate your own individual personality?
- What is your level of assertiveness?
- Do you live through someone else’s desires?
Now let’s get a notebook and pen to work on setting new boundaries:
- Where do you need to set boundaries for yourself?
- Who do you most need to set boundaries with? (Can be more than one individual)
- What is your biggest challenge that prevents you from setting or maintaining your boundaries?
- What 3 boundaries could you set to ensure your needs are met?
-Mandy Hale
Psalm 147:14
Colossians 4:6
Romans 12:18
Prov. 13:20
II Timothy 3:1-5