Today’s Gold Nugget: STOP APOLOGIZING
Do you say “I’m sorry” a lot? Well, it’s time to stop apologizing because it could be affecting your confidence and freedom.
Let me ask you this, do you really mean you’re sorry? Or is it just a fill-in phrase to avoid punishment or ridicule? If you feel like it’s always your fault it might come from an experience of abusive, angry people who ruled over you, bullied you, or constantly rejected you. It could also come from fear or insecurity of not being accepted.
There is a difference between apologizing and asking for forgiveness. You can say I’m sorry in an angry tone, not meaning it at all. On the other hand, asking for forgiveness requires humility to bring restoration or reconciliation.
The benefit of dropping the bad habit of “I’m sorry” is not just saving you from over apologizing in your daily communication, but it will improve the way you express yourself and thus boost your confidence, freedom, and self-esteem.
So, let’s work on stopping apologizing by dropping the “I’m sorry” and replacing it with a powerful phrase that will boost your confidence: “Thank you”. Gratefulness changes the atmosphere.
16 things you should absolutely stop apologizing for and say this instead
Let’s take the challenge
I know I over apologize but didn’t realize how much until I took the challenge to stop this bad habit. It is amazing how often I say it and when I correct myself, I feel more confident and less mousy or timid.
Let me share what happened last Sunday. We went to sell at the Jake’s Flea Market and a lady asked me if we had a certain item and I said, “No we don’t. I am very sorry about that”. Why in the world would I apologize for not having something? Weird, right? Then I told myself, why am I apologizing? I realized I had this feeling of sadness of letting someone down, which was absurd.
Right after this, I heard my husband Dave talking to a man who wanted a couple of cool vintage quality plastic boats. He said, “I want to purchase these for my grandson.” He asked Dave how much and he said $40.00 each. The man replied, “I give you $40.00 for both!” Dave laughed and said, “Thank God I’m not your grandson. You must not like him that much for being that cheap.” Then the man said, “Well, I was an electrician all my life and now am on a fixed income.” Dave replied, “It’s not my fault you chose to work for the man all your life instead of having your own business, creating more income.” Wow! I thought the man would be offended and run! But no, he stood there and gave him a much better offer and bought them both.
This experience taught me this. First, people will intimidate you and try to get something from you for close to nothing. If you agree, this will make you feel taken advantage of because what you have to offer has more value to you. Second, people lie and want you to feel sorry for them. This man had the money. Of course, everyone is looking for a deal, I’m the first one to admit. However, there are many bullies. It is important for us to remain in control and not let them intimidate and steal from us. Be empowered and wise to come right back at them.
I could feel Dave’s confidence and boldness coming from the conversation. I could feel his freedom of being in control of his own treasures. He could have thought, “Oh it’s for a kid, just give it to him for less than nothing.” Or “I’m very sorry he is on a fixed income he can have them both for $40.” But how would that make him feel afterward?
This showed me how he kept the goal of why he was there in the first place selling at the Flea Market: generating income by getting rid of the overflow. So, keep your goal in mind and never let the intimidator, tormentor, or oppressor take advantage of you. Never apologize for what you believe or stand for. It is all part of the rule of life.
We are living in a time when people are afraid of their own shadow. In a time where political correctness is taking over and stealing our freedom. The devil is working hard to conform us into being weak, afraid to offend, and losing our own thoughts, beliefs, values, and personalities. We are losing our minds to the ways of this world.
Jesus never apologized for what He said or did. He didn’t apologize when his parents were looking for him for 3 days and were anxious (Luke 2:48-49). He didn’t apologize when He told the religious leaders they were of their father the devil and their will is to do their father’s desires (John 8:44). He never apologized when He drove the people out of the temple and overturned the tables (Matthew 21:12-13).
II Timothy 1:7
1 Corinthians 10:31
If you want to live a life never having to say “I’m sorry” or apologize, then be like Jesus: seek to do God’s will, and do all for His glory.
Now, let’s take the challenge to “stop apologizing” for a week and then report to me how this exercise empowers your confidence by responding to this email. I am looking forward to reading your responses.